This is a good example of thank you letter
for submission and request for revision. You have to modify the letter
according to your purpose.
Dear Mr. Mark,
The
speech that you submitted to me for presentation at [name] retirement party is very
great with one minor exception. Inasmuch as Adam is somewhat sensitive about
his age, I feel that it would be inappropriate to make any reference to this
fact.
I would appreciate it if you would delete
those sections in Paragraphs 4 and 5 which specifically comment about his age
and/or employ the words "golden years", and find a suitable
substitution. Once again, the speech is very well written.
Your
Sincerely,
Jack
Anderson
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